HI Lauren!!!!!!

hey jules.....how are you doing??? i just got home a little while ago and i wanted to write you a special message in case you read my blog before bed......i have the card that you made me displayed on the kitchen counter...because i am still so shocked that you are so good at drawing hearts now....i love it!.....so my girl....i will see you on monday! ok??? call my cell anytime to talk! i love you

cianna

best friends

thats my man

steven is almost finished the renovation he is doing on his parents house....he started it last year..its been slow in the making cause he's so busy with work, but he did such a good job..heres some pics........and just let me say that i helped pour the concrete..thank you

hes very cute

thats a good job honey!

ha...hes scared...

Saying Goodbye

tomorrow is my last day with the girls

it is so hard to believe....how did lauren turn into a beautiful 7 year old girl that i can laugh so hard with over the dumbest and weirdest jokes.....and how did rachel grow from a tiny infant to a three year old that can walk, talk, and make me simply smile......

life is so strange.....how can you love someone and then let them just walk out of your life...or even worse..how can i walk out of their life...will they understand?? will they be mad at me? or will they even notice?? you put so much time into someone and something and in the end is it worth it? these are all questions that i am thinking about...and the answer is yes...i know it was worth it.....every second spent with my girls was worth it....there is something about being a part of a childs life....they are so innocent and dependent...they look to you for everything...you guide their life and you shape it.....you answer all of the questions that their little brains think of......you try to relive the beauty of childhood....the imagination and creativity....i can not even count how many times i have talked to rachels imaginary friend "sara" on the phone.....i have asked sara to come over for play dates...i have had to "buy" her birthday presents.....i actually started to believe that this sara girl was real.....its such an important job supporting kids in how they come to see the world...rachel will one day realize that sara was never actually real....but thats all part of growing up and figuring the world out for yourself....

one of my favorite times of the day with rachel that i will miss soo very much was when she would wake up from a nap...when she was younger i would hear her cry and open the door to see this toothless grin smiling at me from the crib....i had missed her so much while she was sleeping.....and now that shes older....when she wakes up she crawls out of bed and goes to the top of the stairs....and just yells out one "cianna?"....when i hear that my heart melts...how can i miss this little person so much for the few hours that she was sleeping? then she runs down the stairs and comes for a cuddle until shes more awake and ready to take on some new adventure.....

and my little lauren...we got along great right from the beginning...she was only 4 years old.....we quickly became best buddies and have stayed that way throughout preschool, kindergarten, and gr.1......the moments that i will miss with lauren are going to be not being the one to drop her off and pick her up from school....i loved sending her off for a great day at school...and i liked picking her up even more.....its going to be hard for me to not know how her day went....or what happened at recess..the good and the bad....i cherish that fact that she trusted me....she told me everything....i would listen and try to hang on to every word.....i always tried to remember that something that is no big deal for an adult, can be a hugee deal for a 7 year old....

i am going to miss my girls so much.....i dont want to miss one of their little dances around the kitchen, or one painting, or even the car rides......those were the best!!! we would sing our little hearts out and then when we got bored of that we would just chat..about anything and everything....and then all the sudden rachel would be asleep...and at every stop light lauren and i would both look over at her and smile.... us girls did everything together....i have spent more time with them than anyone else.....but God has truely blessed me so much by placing them in my life....i can only be thankful for all the wonderful memories i have with them....and i know there will be more....i just wonder for how long am i going to reach down to grab two tiny hands only to find that they are not there?

tent antics

camping with the girls and the puppy!!!! every morning as i was sleeping someone would open my tent a little bit and stick the puppy in with me..then a few mins later..i would hear the zip again and this time it would be madeline....the baby....haha i loved it!! cuddling two babies!!.....and then a few mins after that, the other three girls would come in!...it was so fun....i love babies!!!!!!

Elsie's Birthday and Puppies!!!

carl and els..very cute..married 25 years

anna is so happy for her mom..and the presents

steven's family just recently got a new puppy.....rachel and i just happened to be at their house on the day that the puppies were visiting..they were still too young to stay..so they just came for a little visit

little Kia

els snuggles kia

my crazy skirt..a complete circle...who knew?

so many pups

els warming rachel up after a swim with steven

shes getting him with the squirt gun

having fun!!!!

Waterslide!!!

the girls were so sweet and decided to have a little birthday party for me one day....it was so fun having a special celebration with them....they even sang happy birthday...as i carried my own cake out ..haha..so cutee

this summer the girls got a waterslide...its huge..and so much fun....it blows up within two mins and keeps them busy for hours..and me too!

my delish cake

having a turn..the first time i was really scared....and there is a little nakey rachel in the background on the slip and slide that goes right underneath the waterslide

i am still alive

how dreadful........is it true that i have not written on this blog since july 23rd? i am so sad....one tiny excuse is that the hard drive on our computer blew up...so its taken quite a while to get things up and running again..and i stillll can not load new pictures on the computer......but other than that, i dont really have an excuse...maybe wedding planning?? i dont know....oh a little update on the wedding!!! my dress has been purchased!! i love itttttttt..its at home and i try it on alot..i have to stop..otherwise i will get sick of it or something...and also the location of the reception has changed..its no longer going to be an outside reception, but rather at northview golfcourse....on 168th....i am sooo excited!!! its so beautiful there and its really a blessing that the date was still available!!

so i am also almost done work.....for good..its really sad....i only have 6 more days left with the girls....i try not to think about it.....we are just enjoying our time together....although i am looking forward to some time off....my last day of work is august 18th and then i dont start school until sept 5...very good....i am really going to try to enjoy the break because it will be my last holiday ever as an unmarried woman! yikes!!!! i basically graduate and then a week and half later get married...so i need this time....but i will see the girls lots over the next 10 months until the wedding because they are my flower girls!

this weekend steven and i are off to cultas lake with stevens family and friends...hopefully whenst i get home the computer will be all fixed so i can get some pictures on here.....i hope everyone is enjoying their summer......until then my friends